Have you ever explored your identity to the point where everything you believed you were, and everything you believed you thought defined you, was dismantled and destroyed, piece-by-piece?
Sometimes the destruction may have been by your own hand and at others at the hand of a force greater than you, perhaps fate?
For me it came at a significant cost. The physical, spiritual and emotional expense was at its best painful, and at its worst, agonising.
How best to describe it?
Well, have you ever lain on the floor clutching your stomach while screaming as if you had been stabbed and yet no one or no thing has touched you?
That was kind of what it was like for me. But that’s me. I would imagine the process for others could be much easier – but my ego didn’t want to let go.
And in essence, that’s what it is. It’s a letting go of what you thought you were so the gateway to what you are can be opened.
Now, what was at the other side of the suffering?
For me it is a growing sense of freedom. I’ll be honest, I still have some work to do, and imagine I will for the rest of this life, but I feel free. And I feel lighter.
I think the lightness is the most significant change in my being.
It is incredible just how heavily all the crap you may have built into your life can weigh on you.
Of course, I cannot speak for anyone else. Maybe I’m the only one who was presenting, as somewhat of an imposter. Or at a minimum, presenting a picture of myself that wasn’t quite true – for the benefit of others and myself.
Anyway, those days are gone.
Why am I sharing this?
Well, because tomorrow begins Phusion 365.
Basically, every three days a quote, musing or meditation will be emailed to those who participate. With it will be a short reflection on how it relates to our daily lives.
They are designed to challenge.
This is not information I have read and regurgitated.
The content from Phusion 365 literally flows into me and then from me. In fact, it would be fair to say that much of my struggle came from my resistance to receiving these messages in the first instance, and in the second, expressing them.
So, if you feel you are at a stage in your life where you feel a little bit of personal scrutiny is in order this could be just what you need.
But remember, while it is designed to challenge you, Phusion 365 is not meant to be intrusive and it is certainly not meant to unsettle readers. We all have a unique personal journey to experience and the responsibility for how we approach that journey rests solely with us.
Each email will be brief. A one to two minute read at most, but hopefully the impact will last much longer.
I’m excited about sharing some of the concepts and ideas that have helped me on my personal journey.
Perhaps the greatest benefit of the concepts that will be shared in Phusion 365 is that they helped life make sense to me, even when I was at my most broken and vulnerable.
They guided me towards a more authentic version of freedom, when I’d never felt more imprisoned.
Now, although these meditations are spiritual in nature – yes, God gets a mention – they will be relevant to all.
I think it’s crazy to turn your back on something worthwhile and valuable because it’s looks a different to how you would like it to look.
But again, that’s just me.
Sometimes the things that make us most uncomfortable are exactly what we need.
I’ll leave you with that.
I wish you all an incredible week that delivers exactly what you need.