I find it incredible that we have a personal development/self help industry worth billions of dollars and yet we are more stressed, anxious, lost and depressed than ever.
Why is that?
In my opinion one of the great ironies of our time is that this industry itself, at times, can be more damaging than constructive when it comes to personal development.
Now the damage is not in this industry’s intention, but in how it is done.
So this is how it works.
Many sellers of personal development material make it very clear you are not enough. They remind you your very life is slipping away minute by minute along with your dreams, destiny and purpose.
You are powerful beyond measure you are told, you have a destiny to fulfil, goals to achieve and shame on you if you aren’t doing it.
These calls to action are often made from ‘my laptop here in Hawaii because I holiday 6 months of the year…’ and so on.
In business it’s honing in on a ‘prospect’s’ pain point. It could be argued that the personal development industry is actually helping amplify this pain point by painting you as an underachiever or something less than you should be.
I’m here to tell you that regardless of the things you might think you are missing you have everything you need to begin more fully expressing yourself right now. Nothing outside of you can complete you.
I may be wrong. I can only speak from my experience and I can state honestly I was sucked into a toxic world of suffering in order to achieve ‘greatness’.
Why would I get a good night’s sleep when I could be chasing my dreams? Why would I catch up with friends and invest in relationships when there is a destiny to fulfil?
I fell for the sales pitch. I began to believe I would never be enough unless I created this lifestyle for myself.
And I had never been more unhappy or lost in my life. This vision was about me being the hero and in pursuing this I fell out of alignment. Alignment, for me is everything. And alignment comes from within.
All these new targets I had – dreams, destiny, success, income, lifestyle, retiring early, the dream house, the x, y, z – were in the future, leaving me frustrated in the present. Honestly, how can you possibly retire who you are?
It can be dangerous territory when wealth or the goal or the pursuit of greatness becomes obsessive. We have seen many instances of the ‘successful’ person who appears to have it all, only to be emotionally, personally and spiritually broken. Actually, in spiritual terms, knowing who you are and fully expressing this in a manner that enriches your life and the lives of others IS the goal. When how much money you make takes precedence over how you make it you just might be heading for trouble.
Whether you express best as a musician, a great parent, a wonderful dressmaker, a concierge, a pastry chef or anything else for that matter is not what’s important. What is important is that you strive to know who you are from within and use this understanding to guide your actions and decisions.
With this come peace, harmony and alignment. The result is you in your most natural and beautiful form of being and expression. As you embark on this journey with love and good intention in your heart people will notice and good things will happen. And even if they don’t you will have in your heart an understanding that most never will – an understanding of who you are. You will have learnt to truly be! And that is extraordinary.
When I am lecturing or speaking and I share these concepts I often use an example such as Fred Hollows. Fred Hollows was an eye surgeon. He expressed this fully by doing eye surgery after eye surgery and educating other doctors in his art.
We all called him extraordinary. We all said he was great. We all said he fulfilled his purpose. But Fred – he was just being Fred as wholeheartedly as he could! He was just fully expressing who he was and what an expression it was.
I think it’s time we dropped the buzzwords (as I have done in the title of this blog) that make us feel inadequate now. Because who you are is right there inside of you waiting for you to embrace it whenever you’re ready. You can start ‘being’ with your very next decision.
Of course, there is no right or wrong. You have every right to live your life how you want to. If the flattering labels and tags people use to describe you are more important that knowing yourself then that is fine.
But another option is to simply start investigating who you are and expressing this in a way that suits you. Not everyone else.
No school, business or personal development guru has the right to tell you what is best for you or what you need. I suspect deep down you have some idea of what that is. I hope you are not letting all of the outside fog corrupt your inner vision. I did, I couldn’t see clearly and I got lost.
Phusion Living rediscovered me and ‘phusion’ is helping others find themselves every day.
Now my daily actions and decisions and the projects I chose to work on are guided by one question.
Is this ‘me’?
And I mean this in terms of my principles and values and in relation to the behaviours that will be required of me should I become involved. If it were not ‘me’ then no amount of dollar signs would compel me to participate.
What’s the difference between being (or the wholehearted expression we speak of in Phusion) and the pursuit of greatness and power? (Even though on the surface they can seem the same)
It’s subtle, but one serves others and has no attachment to the labels and judgement of others while the other relies somewhat on the accolades and praise associated with greatness to feel ‘enough’. One stands beside and among their people and the other has a feeling they are above others and know better – the source of which may well be deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy.
What drives your actions – love or the desire to be loved?
As always, here’s to the full expression of your life, expressed fully, in your own personal style.
If you would you like to know more about the ‘phusion’ philosophy, work with Tim or create a more authentic and wholehearted expression into your business, school or life please don’t hesitate to reach out.